Date: January 26
To: Village President, Village Trustees
From: George McConnell
Subject: Re: Village Manager offer
I want to formally accept the position of Village Manager. I look forward to using my experience as a city manager and planner, to help grow the Village.
I was slightly surprised that an anger management hotline was included in the packet. I haven’t come across that in previous positions I’ve had. And I did sign the disclaimer regarding mental health issues, including repressed memories syndrome, and post-traumatic stress disorder. I gather being on the receiving end of mental health lawsuits must have been an issue in the past, from the wording in the disclaimer, but I don’t expect anything like that with my employment. As I mentioned in my interviews, I was a Navy Seal for 25 years before going into public service as a City Manager and City Planner. I can’t imagine that life in a small village will be more stressful than being pinned down by machine gun fire for three days.
I plan to fly into O’Hare airport on Thursday morning, so that I can be in attendance at my first board meeting. I’ve attached my flight itinerary with the flight number and arrival time. I understand that your finances are such that you can’t provide a rental car for me, so please arrange for a car to meet me. I’m staying at the Holiday Inn in the neighboring town, until I can move into the condo I’m renting.
I look forward to my first board meeting.
Sincerely,
George McConnell
Village Manager
Date: February 5
To: Village President, Village Trustees
From: George McConnell
Subject: transportation
First, I’d like to thank you for the accommodations from the airport to my hotel, although I had expected a taxi, black car, or mini-van, not a vintage 56 pickup truck. I didn’t even know that those vehicles were allowed on an interstate. The 2 1/2 hour ride, which was a little unexpected for a 20 mile journey, gave me plenty of time to get to know Mr. Jenson, the public works manager. Although we had a lovely time together, I won’t be needing a ride to the meeting tonight as I’ve managed to rent a car faster than I had originally anticipated.
I look forward to meeting the rest of the staff tonight at the board meeting.
George McConnell
Village Manager
Village Minutes - February 5th
Special Meeting to meet the new Village Manager
Attendees:
President - Mac Powell
Trustee - John Powell
Trustee - Berta Jenson
Trustee - Peter Douglas
Trustee - Dorothy Douglas Gregor
Attorney - Sean Cohen
Public Works - Dave Jenson
Meeting called to order 7:02 p.m. with recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance
President: Before public comments, I wanted to take a moment to welcome and introduce our new Village Manager, George McConnell. George comes to us from the city of Williamsburg, in Maine, but prior to that he was in the service. He has a lot of experience and will be a fine addition to our staff. Now let’s go on to public comments.
Cyril: I don’t know why I have to talk in front of this stranger. Who is he again? Why is he up there? I didn’t vote for him did I?
President: No, Cyril you didn’t vote for him, but I just introduced him. He’s our new Village Manager. It would be nice if you could be civil to him, at least for his first board meeting. You promised you’d be more cordial this time, remember.
Cyril: I did promise and I was true to my word. You didn’t have to frisk me before letting me in tonight. Anyway, that light in front of my house is keeping me up. It makes it very hard to sleep, when I can sit up in bed, crane my neck and move the blinds only to be blinded by a light. You need to do something about that.
President: Dave, can you respond quickly to Cyril’s issue?
Dave Jenson: Well ya see Cyril, in responding to your previous complaint about how dark it was because that light burned out, I thought the best solution was to replace the light. Maybe we should reconsider that. I can take the light out again.
Cyril: Won’t it be dark if you take the light out? I don’t know if I like that.
Dave Jenson: Well, I could try to fashion a shield that would block the light from going towards your house. Would that work? I’ve got some tin and duct tape in the workshop.
President: Well, good. So that’s taken care of then. Any other public comments? Seeing no other public comments, we’ll get to the heart of this special meeting, which is to introduce our new Village Manager to the Village, and answer any questions about this new hire. You’ve all received the packets with the information about George’s background, so let’s open it up to discussion. Trustee Powell?
Trustee Powell: Thank you Mac. So George, it says that you were a sailor, right?
George McConnell: Navy Seal sir. It’s a little more than a “sailor.”
Trustee Powell: Whatever. So you like water, do you? We don’t have much here. Except when it floods, but it’s not boating type of water. Just so you know. How do you feel about trees? Do you like them as much as water?
George McConnell: Excuse me? I like trees...and water I guess....
Trustee Powell: Whatever. I’m just sayin’ it wouldn’t hurt you to become a little bit more happy with trees instead of always worrying about the water. I’m okay with him Mac.
President: Thanks John. And remember folks, this isn’t a vote on George. We already hired him during the last regular meeting. This is just a chance for you all to get acquainted with him. Trustee Jenson?
Dave Jenson: Did you say me? Because Georgie-boy and me are real tight. Ain’t that right Georgie-Porgie?
President: No, Dave, not you. Your wife Dave. Trustee Berta, do you have any comments this evening.
Trustee Jenson: Thanks Mac. I just want to say that I’m not sure about Mr. McConnell. If he’s going to remain in this Village, I don’t think he should be allowed to gallivant over town, joy riding with my husband. I think it’s very unprofessional and unseemly to be seen riding around on a weekday in a parade car. Who does he think he is? Remember Sir, these people, and for the record, I’m gesturing to Cyril, his wife Minnie, and the Gregor triplets, these people pay your salary, and you’re accountable to them. We’ll overlook it this time, to show you how neighborly and friendly we are, but don’t let it happen again. And welcome. You’ll have to come over for dinner sometime.
President: Thanks Berta. I’m sure that George was unaware that joyriding with the staff is frowned upon. I’m sure in the big city he probably was able to do that a few days a week. And now he knows, right George? Let’s move on to Peter. Trustee Douglas, do you have anything you’d like to say?
Trustee Douglas: Thanks Mac. Hey George. I’m the mellow trustee so you don’t have to worry about me. Ha ha. I understand that a man has to get away from the office grind now and then. But you really have to admit that trees are almost as important and some may say more important than water. Except when you’re thirsty, but that’s not all the time. Well heck George. It’s great that you’re on board with us now, or should I say “on deck” with us, since you’re a boater and all. Hope you’ll take me out on your boat sometime, George. I’m not a great fisherman, but I like the challenge, and I’m sure that a water guy like you could teach me a lot. So welcome George.
George McConnell: Thank you Mr. Douglas, but I don’t own a boat and I don’t fish. I’m not sure why there’s a confusion about that, but I assure you that I don’t have a boat.
Trustee Douglas: Oh, well fine. If you don’t want to take me on your boat, you don’t have to but you don’t have make up stories.
President: Peter, if George says he doesn’t have a boat, then he probably doesn’t have a boat. Can we move on? Trustee Gregor?
Trustee Gregor: I’m sorry Mac. I can’t concentrate, what with the triplets here, and I have to pick up Cindy in 25 minutes from cheerleading practice and then Davie needs to get ready for Bubble camp, so...what was the question?
President: Never mind Dottie. Well George, before you take the floor, let’s see if our attorney Mr. Cohen has any questions. Sean? Sean? Will someone please wake up Mr. Cohen. Let the record show that Trustee Powell shook Mr. Cohen awake. Sean, any questions for Mr. McConnell?
Atty Cohen: Wait, I didn’t know that there were going to be questions. I’m not prepared. Can I have a continuance?
President: Nevermind Sean. So George, do you have anything you want to say?
George McConnell: Well, I want to thank you all for...hiring me. And let me assure that I do like trees, and I do not spend my afternoons driving around, wasting time, and I’ve never owned a boat in my life. I was a Navy Seal for 25 years, not a fisherman. But I am really thrilled to be here and look forward to working with all of you. And I also want to thank Mrs. Minnie for the cookies. They were delicious and a heartwarming gesture. Thank you.
President: Well we’ll wrap this up quickly then. Minnie, when I asked you not to put any laxative in brownies for this Manager, I meant any baked goods, including cookies. He doesn’t know your sense of humor. Anyway, George, for your own sake, you’ll want to go straight back to the hotel. It’s the end of our procurement calendar for this quarter, so the toilet paper isn’t replenished until tomorrow morning. You don’t want to be caught short, so if I hear no objections, can we adjourn? All in favor say aye. Let the record show that everyone was in favor, except for Dottie, who’s trying to get the gum out of the triplets hair.
